Sick again!

I've spent this past two weeks in and out of the hospital with my Isiah, sick again, it was last Friday evening Jose and I rushed him to the emergency because he had gone into relapse ( with his nephrotic syndrome) and started swelling really bad, thank god we did. We sat waiting patiently so it seemed to the ones looking in, for 5 1/2 hours in the triage care room, they took blood, inserted an IV into my little man, and started him on some albumin, it was really low, so they tell us " he's going to be admitted for the night", jose stayed with us the entire time, with worry and care, intense emotion in his eyes until the very second they transferred us up to Isiah's assigned room. By now it is 1:45 am, i am so very tired, in desperate need of a stress reliever, but i have to get my little man settled, well as settled as possible, in the dirty, cold room we were placed in, but he slept. I went for air, i cried and cried, i prayed, and cried some more, then i went back up to the seventh floor and made my bed for the night, placed snug beside my little man's bed, and the window, Never would have thought he would be back again in just two days, but it was to be expected we "were" in a hospital ( full of live germs), i left the next morning with my baby, he was much better, almost a different person, my Isiah, and me, well i had a new growth on my lip, the beginning of the next trip back. Saturday night i have a huge sore and my throat itches, suddenly my nose runs, and well im sick, then diego's sick , almost instantly, then of course Isiah has caught the virus we picked up from the "safe haven" and well there we are monday night Isiah's up all night vomiting, feverish, not well at all, by morning he was starting to scare me, i knew he needed to be back at the hospital, But i couldnt take him, I was sick, so Omar had to, a little envious i am, he's my baby, they need their mommy's, and i couldnt be there for him. Four long, hard, emotionaly draining days pass, the first few were spent with me lying on my sofa wishing i would die, due to me being overwhelmed by this virus, finally by day two i was able to move and clean the house and cook something, Today, day four is the day my little man has his kidney biopsy, 8 am, i kneel down and pray 8 am sharp, pray to god to watch over him, and keep him safe, whisper in his ear i love him, and i wish i was there, He made it out safe and sound, and is doing just fine, my little trooper. Now they tell me, he's going to have to stay until Monday, my god a whole week in that place, a whole week without seeing my baby, are we being punished, he's suffering and i cant be with him, not for me but for him. Funny how life works. Im trying to be positive about the drawn out stay at this place, but i want him home safe in my arms, i want to look in his eyes and tell him i love him. But instead i sit at home of course caring for my other babies, but wishing i was with the one whom needed me the most. Jose spent the last two days with us, so refreshing, to actually have someone who cares, whom in my eyes would carry the sun on his back if it meant to help someone, that's just the way he is. Im so grateful for him, the kids love him, and hey so do I.
So another day dies down, alone this night, unfortunately, i cant always have what i want, so needless to say it will be much harder tonight than the last two, but im sure i will survive. Isiah, he rests his little head in a now familiar place, but not one im sure he wants to be.